Why We Should NEVER Label a Child

This video focusses on one negative aspect of labelling your child.

Below are a few others that are equally as important:

1. Labelling can affect the way your child sees themself

How parents (or other adults) label a child can have a lasting impact on how that child thinks of themself. We all have an inner voice that speaks to our subconscious mind. Those inner voices start speaking from a very young age and when you hear them often and long enough you start to believe them. When a child has been labelled, that label will become a part of their identity. Labels put children in boxes, doing a lot of damage that can take a lifetime to try and undo.

2. Labelling influences the way others treat your child

When a child is given a label, it affects how they see themselves and also affects what others expect of them which then impacts how they are treated. This then influences who they become. For example, a strong-willed child who is labelled as a “troublemaker”, that label will likely make it even more difficult for adults to show empathy and make the effort to correct their behaviour. According to a famous study (the Pygmalion Effect) back in 1965, both negative and positive labels changed the way teachers treated students.

3. Labelling children limits their potential

Even if labels are not necessarily negative, eg creative, shy, kind or athletic, they can still influence and place limits on a child’s potential. This is also the case with positive labels. Children may want to explore all types of interests, activities, and careers throughout their lives, so it is best not to label them as an “engineer,” a “girly-girl” or “maths genius” as this may make them feel they can't explore other possibilities. When children are free to learn that anything is possible, they are more willing to work hard, take a chance and discover that the sky is the limit!

The most important thing to remember when talking about a child is: Are there little ears that can hear? The next thing to remember is that labels can be extremely difficult to remove, and often require a lifetime of work to undo.

Luckily it is never too late to realise the negative impact of labels, to become aware of any negative perceptions you may subconsciously have, or to work to change that. To avoid unfavorable labelling, think before you speak and choose your words wisely. Consider the cost of the potential label and how it will affect the child, now and in the future. Only use words that will offer encouragement and support.

Here are some ideas on how to rephrase a possible label:

Instead of labelling a child as “a kind child” or “a helpful person” try to say “you are being kind” or “you were very helpful.”

Instead of saying “you are shy” or “don’t be shy,” try statements such as, “it takes a little while for you to feel comfortable with new people,” or “you are talkative with people you know well.”

Instead of labelling a child as a “whiner,” “cry-baby” or “selfish,” use descriptive, more positive words such as "aware of their own feelings".

Instead of labelling a child as "clever", praise the effort by saying "you have worked hard" or "I can see you really understood that".

Avoid limiting a child by labelling them unintentionally.

Focus on Descriptions, Not Labels: Instead of labeling a child as "shy," describe their behavior in specific situations. This encourages a more nuanced understanding of their personality.

Encourage Growth Mindset: Foster a belief in the power of effort and learning by praising your child's efforts rather than innate abilities.

Embrace Individuality: Celebrate your child's unique qualities and interests, allowing them to flourish without predefined expectations.

So, in summary, labels can create and shape people's expectations, thereby creating stereotypes, which can be extremely harmful. Other negative side effects of labelling include social stigma, lower expectations from peers and teachers, and creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. Being labelled as “different” in any way can lead to bullying and marginalisation in schools.

Children can change and develop but labels, unfortunately, tend to stick. This can make it extremely difficult for children to leave behind negative reputations and start afresh.

To give your child the best start in life and the best chance of succeeding later on, NEVER label your child!