When Little Teeth Sink In

Few things make a parent’s heart drop faster than hearing, “Your child bit someone today.” It’s one of those moments that triggers equal parts embarrassment, guilt, worry, and confusion. Most parents know that biting is common among toddlers but knowing that doesn’t always make it easier to handle - especially when it keeps happening.

Let’s go deeper than the surface-level “they’re teething” or “they want attention” explanations. Because biting isn’t just about misbehaviour,  it’s communication. And often, what’s being said goes well beyond words.

1. Biting is Developmentally Typical — but Never Random

Yes, biting can be “normal,” but it’s not meaningless. Children bite for reasons — reasons that are often invisible to adults. At its core, biting is an action, not an attitude. A child who bites isn’t being “naughty” or “mean”; they’re expressing something they don’t yet have the skills to manage differently.

Some children bite when:

• They feel overwhelmed or overstimulated and their nervous system is in “fight or flight” mode.

• They’re experimenting with cause and effect (“What happens if…?”).

• They experience a sudden rush of excitement, affection, or frustration they can’t yet regulate.

• They’re seeking proprioceptive input — that deep sensory feedback from biting, chewing, or pushing — to calm their bodies.

Understanding which of these applies to your child is the real key. The same behaviour can have totally different roots in different children.

2. Think Nervous System, Not Just Behaviour

Biting is often a sign that a child’s nervous system has hit overload. Toddlers, especially those who are sensitive or have high sensory needs, may bite when they can’t organise their energy or emotions.

Ask yourself:

• Does the biting tend to happen in noisy, chaotic environments (e.g. daycare transitions, playdates)?

• Does it happen when your child is tired, hungry, or has had too much stimulation?

• Does your child also chew on clothing, toys, or their own hands when they’re upset or excited?

If so, your child may need more support in regulating sensory input. Things like predictable routines, calmer transitions, chewable sensory tools, or quiet “recovery” time after big social situations can make a real difference.

3. Emotional Literacy: The Missing Skill

Many biting episodes stem from a simple gap: the child feels big feelings but doesn’t yet have words or strategies to express them safely.

We tend to overestimate emotional literacy (the ability to recognize, label, and regulate feelings) in toddlers and young preschoolers.

Instead of just saying “We don’t bite,” it’s more effective to teach what to do instead:

• “You’re angry. You can stomp your feet or say, ‘Go away!’”

• “You wanted that toy and felt cross. Let’s ask for a turn.”

• “You’re excited! You can hug gently or clap.”

Biting fades faster when children gain tools, not when they’re simply told to stop.